SELWG cup update.

Morning people, Bifur here. Results are in for the second week of the tournament, things are heating up! We’ve had a couple more friendlies and another League match played. So far everything seems to be going smoothly, although there have been a few more deaths than everyone expected… but then again it is Blood Bowl so bring on the death and destruction!

Here’s the games…

The furious Fey Folk played a good natured exhibition game against the Skavenblight Scramblers, as the Scramblers coach was new to the game this match would not feature in the league and no money or experience were gained. Punches

were thrown however, including a particularly well timed one to the jaw of the Scramblers Rat Ogre and only the teams wandering apothecary was able to save the big guys life… The overall result was a 2 – 2 draw, with both teams making some excellent plays to keep the fans amused. The Scramblers are one to watch in the future, if nothing else than for their sneakiness… 12 players on the pitch you say? How very Skaven of you… The Furious Fey Folk maintain their spotless record of never breaking any rules, ever.

The Minetown Raptors played a mid week friendly against the Cold Sea Hawks, I’ll hand you over to the Raptor coach for his take on the game : “It was my second game of Blood Bowl in over 20 years, and against a very different team to White Orcs Can’t Jump. Last game the difference was the armour, this one it was the agility. The ability of the Dark Elves to be confident in their passing and moving out of tackle zones just isn’t there for the Humans. I therefore spent the first half trying to run the ball, managing to move it very quickly across, but not down, the field, dragging the Hawks out of position again and again but on several occasions dropping the ball just as I’d created a hole. It did though run down the clock.

The second half; a bit of red mist came down and created the opportunity for the Hawk’s touchdown. The next six turns were full of the Raptors being close but fluffing the last die roll (plus one glaring error by me about whom to blitz with. With a Blitzer three squares from the end zone holding the ball and in a tackle zone I meant to blitz with him, but instead blitzed elsewhere to free up another player to move to give me a 2 dice block with the Blitzer who couldn’t blitz. And then to make it worse, I decided to go for the end zone anyway rather than put the Dark Elf on his back. More boneheaded than Mr Castle.”

Another friendly brought the fans a match between the Gronn Fjord Raiders and the Orcward Orras. Norse vs Orcs, this should be bloody… Again I’ll hand you over to one of the coaches. The head coach from the Raiders had this to say… “In the first half the Norse slowly wore down the orcs using the ancient art of crowd surfing. The dice gods looked unfavourably on the Orcs and the Norse injured first the Orc thrower (thank you Ragna – lineman No. 9) and then a black Orc (the Snow Troll really took a dislike to him). Luckily for the Orras they were just badly injured. In the final drive of the first half, Eirik (Berserker No. 4) scored.

The second half saw the Norse team stage a classic flank attack and they easily punched through on the wing. With a sure touchdown in the bag, I couldn’t resist going for a cheeky level up, cocked up the pass off from the thrower to Eirik, which allowed an Orc Blitzer to nick the ball from under their noses. Not having that, I unsurprisingly threw the orc into the stands but the orc fans chucked the ball half way up the pitch and the Orc No.2 Lineman grabbed in and passed it into the hands of the No 8 Blitzer, who managed to score an outrageous touchdown, using an amazing show of twinkle toes to dodge his way through a mass of tackle zones! The Orras then started to improve their Orc Smash! (TM – PR of the Orras 2018) and badly hurt the Norse No.10 lineman Gudmund Stonehand.”

Finally we had a League Game! The Cold Sea Hawks played their second game this week, this time travelling to the White Orcs Cant Jumps stadium to play their first proper fixture. I’ll leave you with the Hawks coach to explain what happened… “The Cold Sea Hawks took on the White Orcs Don’t Jump (henceforward just the White Orcs).

Initially I felt things were going well. I won the flip and the Hawks chose to receive. The plan was to play a running game for the first half and limit the opportunities for the Orcs to bash me. I played a card that protected my players from injury if they got crowd surfed. And then another that stopped his Thrower using re-rolls – just an expensive lineman now! By T2 I have the ball in a nice tidy cage with 2 Blitzers leading the charge and a Witch Elf and another Blitzer causing distractions down field. Then the White Orcs played a card that causes one of my players to sack his own ball carrier! Cue mayhem. I get the ball back but I’ve got no way of reorganising into a viable cage so I try to move the ball down to the Witch Elf, trip up and again the ball does its ‘bar of soap’ impression landing eventually in the unprepossessing paws of an Orc Lineman called Woodley.

The Orcs grind down the field and score in turn 8 of the first half.

Second half starts with me kicking to the Orcs. The ball lands on Woodley who of course catches with all the nonchalant grace you would expect of an Orc (not!). The White Orcs grind down field and grind up several Dark Elves along the way. They score in Turn 7. Too little time for the Elves to respond.

Result: 2-0 to the White Orcs.

Highlights for me:-

1. Spikes, my Witch Elf, hospitalised the Goblin so he misses the next game I think.

2. Tron Taipan- the no12 Linebacker- suffered an Ego Trip. The White Orcs coach played a card that meant that he had to be the first player I activated each turn or else he missed his move. This meant he got left in some sticky situations. Eventually a Black Orc threw a block that resulted in them both hitting the deck. Tron was Badly Hurt (but will be back for the next game). The Black Orc expired!

Low points:-

1. Despite an apothecary I lost a lineman.

2. At game end I had 3 casualties (2 Badly Hurt, one Dead) and a KO’d Witch Elf. As the numbers off the board mounted I just couldn’t launch a successful challenge on the Orc cage.

There you have it folks, things are beginning to happen; players are dying, others are learning new skills…Stay tuned for more random acts of violence

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