Intro into the introducing…


Into a realm not yet conquered, in a time and place unlike our own, three adventurers plunge… as we play Dungeons and Dragons .

Yo yo yo internet folks; here’s a post that I never thought I’d get to write for SFJY, but it’s one that makes me incredibly happy. This is the first post in a series following Bifur, two of our friends, and myself as we play dungeons and Dragons.

Now the reason I never thought I’d get to write this post is that, well, no-one Bif and I know likes Roleplaying games. Or, if they do, they’re not resident anywhere near us and so are unable to partake… all this has changed though and these posts are also going to take the form of demonstrating how we took to non-gamers and have managed to turn them into… big fuck of nerds.

Firstly, how did we get these two people to play (particularly as they had previously been opposed to doing so)?…Well, and this was Bif’s stroke of genius, it was a surprise gift to me!

Now, I’ve harped on about this whole ‘new baby’ thing but this was absolutely integral to how we got to playing; they all knew I really wanted to play some D&D and so Bif, along with Gandalf the Flat White (who is one of the duo we’ve brought into the game) planned a surprise gathering to bequeath unto me the 5th Edition D&D starter set (Along with some other excellent gifts) and to play the starter adventure with me to celebrate the impending birth.

Dungeon Master for Dummies


I’m immensely grateful. (and so you should be, you have no idea what unpleasant things I had to do in order o get those two to play… – Bifur)

Now, the one catch was that I was to be the DM; Bif and I had been drinking prior to the giving of the gift and, well, I had about half an hour to figure the rules and the adventure out. I also haven’t DM’d a game since I was about 12 years old… (Stop making excuses – Bifur)

So… well… it’s pretty easy to say that I didn’t follow the pre-planned adventure that came in the box.
It didn’t help that the quest was called something like ‘The Quest for Phallandin’ which, let’s face it, we were always going to turn into ‘The Quest for Phallus’…

The good thing is I quite like DM’ing on the fly; coming up with random shit as thand beer, e story


DnD and beers…

progresses, constructing something in a split second which can entirely change how a story falls or affects later aspects of the adventure. I also enjoy dick jokes, mocking Roleplaying and getting very, very drunk. All of the above were present in our first session… as was a fuck tonne of sausages and an end to the day which involved smashing through a whole host of Late Knights beers at their Sydenham pop-up.

How could our friends not have had an incredible time? We’ve got them hooked and there’s plenty more of this mad cap adventure to plough through. Without further ado, then, I invite you to head over to our battle reports pages to enjoy our ongoing quest… or as we like to call it…

‘Dungeons and Phalluses’


Dick Jokes and Dragons’


… gah, I might let Bif pick a name for this series (No no, You’ve done fine there… I’ll leave the dodgy innuendos to you…)