Part 3

Are you ready?

Ready for how we got to this;


Our components arrived on the 11th and we arranged the day of reckoning; April 19th.

I arrived at Bifurs dwelling to see his equipment; a gallon pot (5/6 litres), some kitchen utensil stirring devices and, as you can see above, the most spendthrifty and downright renegade demijohn/fermentir I have ever fucking seen. Awesome!

In the period of time since ordering our items we had also realised something, again something we reinforced with the gracious learning of others through a ‘lets double check google to ensure our ideas aren’t complete toss’ manner. All beer recipes are scaleable.

This meant we no longer had to mix the two recipes; we could ditch the more troublingly untested one and just focus on what was clearly a successful recipe, using our mega-awesome-planet-destroying-mother-fucking maths skills to divide a few numbers and scale the brew down… Or use calculators! Yes!!!! And approximation!! YES!!!! AND MEASURE WITH A WHOLE GRAM ONLY SET OF SCALES SO AS TO ENSURE WE COULD ONLY ROUND UP AND DOWN AND USE HUMAN ERROR TO NIP LITTLE BITS OF HOP TO GET A ROUGHLY CLOSE ACTUAL MEASURE OF OUR APPROXIMATED STARTING FIGURES!!!!!!!! HELL TO THE FUCKING YES!!!!!!! AND WE CAN DO ALL THE MATHS WHILST WE’RE ACTUALLY BREWING… hmmmmmmm

I think we can all agree from the above statements that this first brew will not be replaceable completely. That’s fine for us. Our forefathers didn’t have complete accuracy but they still got beer. We can do the same. Once we know this works we can hone, multiply, replicate and deviate. All in good time, dear reader…

So below is our recipe:

3 – 4 lb Pale malt extract syrup, unhooked

2lb Amber dry malt extract

12 AAU of Amarillo hops

5 AAU of cascade hops

Packet of dried yeast (Bifur – this may lead somewhere odd…)

All this was divided by 5 to make a one gellon batch (Bifur – also converted to metric units because, you know, accuracy)

We’re getting closer-

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