Orks vs Orks

This write up has been a long time coming, mostly because stuff keeps happening but also because I lost track of all the photos for a while. Anyway, what this all about then? Ork scrap!!!! Two screaming mobz of greenskinz bashing the crap out of each other; lets face it is there any purer expression of 40K?

I was lucky enough to face off against a brilliantly fully painted army that my opponent had brought to SELWG AND I GOT TO USE MY STOMPA! I had asked my opponent first and he graciously said I could bring the monstrosity down for it’s debut airing. Once that beast had eaten up a huge chunk of my points I didn’t have a lot left and fielded a couple of units of boys, a small unit of bikes, a small unit of Lootas (because: Deathskullz) and my Warboss with his band of MegaNobz and their (newly repaired) Battlewagon (For reasons behind repair see this) My opponent, having more points to spend, had brought more Lootas, more bikes, a unit of foot slogging boyz, several trukk loads of boys, a battlewagon full of Meganobz and his warboss, some Grot crewed artillery and a deff dred. I was deffinatly outnumbered but outgunned? We shall see…

We decided to avoid any of this scenario / objective nonsence and instead set up along the long sides of the board rolled of for first turn and then ran our armies towards each other where they met, screaming and hitting in the middle. This continued until one side ran out of live bodies and gave up… That’s a very quick summary of the game, if you want too know who won and how it happened please continue reading below, but for me it ended up feeling inconsequential as to who took victory because this turned into a proper Orky fight, no complicated rules/tactics/messing about, just a series of big brawls (some of which I won, some I didn’t…). 40K at its best!

Bifgrab Ur Dregnaz Warlord of the Seven Tribes and Krusha of empires of the umies Knew this was going to be fun, they’d got the Stompa finished and running (staggering?) and he’s managed to find another Mob of Orks on this Gork forsaken planet to have a rumble with. Fighting other Orks pleased Bifgrab; they fought well, died well and didn’t retreat just cos someone had shot their mate in the face… as the morning mist cleared he could see the black armoured forms of his enemies emerging from the rubble across the street. “Goffs,” mused Bifgrab “this is gonna be good”. As if reading his mind the Stompas engines roared into life and the towering effigy of the gods lurched forward into battle.

Set up

I set up my Lootas and their Grot screen on the left in some ruins. My warboss and The Mobz assemble for war!Meganobz in the battlewagon took the right with the larger mob of boyz. My centre was dominated by the towering Stompa (accompanied by the smaller unit of boyz and the bikes as a bit of an anti hand to hand combat screen; that idea lasted all of 30 seconds…)

My opponent set up his warboss and Meganob bodyguard opposite mine on his left flank, backed up by a couple of trukk boy units. His Lootas grabbed cover in some ruins in the middle, flanked on both sides by units of boys and the dred. Over on his right the zzzappp guns set up in and around a building and the unit of bikes and a trukk full of burna boyz set up on the right flank (within easy reach of my Lootas. Bugger, there goes their cover save!)

The Battle

My opponent got the first turn and moved forward all along the line (except the artillery and the Lootas). Lots of shots got fired, mostly at the Stompa, but being Orks most of them missed. However one of the Zzzaappp cannons hit home and knocked a Hull Pont off the Stompa (or scratched the paint a bit, depending on how you look at it…). In my turn I too pushed everything forward, mostly without any real impact. Except for the Stompa. That had a lot of impact. Guns roared, rokkits flew all over the battle field, infantry were battered with the Klaw and then stomped on and in the middle of it stood the mighty Stompa.

Deathskull Orkz vs GoffsOver on my right my opponents Trukks and Battlewagon hammered forwards, rokkit launchers blazing and killed my Battlewagon in a single shot (Second game in a row this has happened, changes will have to be made). Again my Warboss and his Meganobz emerge basically unscathed from the wreckage of their transport but this time they were met by a mob of trukk boyz and the enemy Warboss accompanied by his meganobz. Hugely rewarding rounds of close combat ensue, boyz are torn limb from limb and, just before my Warboss could get to him, my opponents Warboss was dragged down by a howling mass of boyz, out for blood after he’d crushed their Nob. So my Warboss took his frustrations out on the enemy’s battlewagon, charging into it at full pelt and smashing it to pieces, then stamping on the pieces and grinding them into the dirt.

“Again?!?” roared Bifgrab as he extricated himself from the still burning wreckage of his Battlewagon. Mork take the Mek who put that heap of Squig dung together. Despite having his ride shot out from under him again Bifgrab wasn’t to despondent, before the blinding explosion had engulfed him he’d seen the enemy Warboss standing on the roof of another Battlewagon bellowing challenges and threats as it careered towards him. Whilst Bifgrab was sorting himself out his foe had leapt down from his ‘wagon and torn apart one of Bifgrab’s Nobz and some of the Ladz. Bifgrap sneered a challenge and stomped forward towards the Warboss, only to see his target being dragged down and torn apart by the mob of Boyz whose leader had just been crunched. Disappointed Bifgrab turned around to get stuck into the enemy Mega Nobz who had also emerged from the Warboss’ battlewagon only to see them being stomped into the ground by his own MegaNob mob. “Sod this!” Bifgrab was well and truly angry now, Battlewagon exploding around him again and nothing to hit! He powered forward, the engine powering his mega armour choking and spluttering with the effort of propelling him, smashing into the side of the enemy battlewagon. He wanted to krump stuff and no one was going to stop him this time.

My Bikes in the centre were fairing less well and, after being shot to pieces from various angles, were soundly beaten by a large mob of foot sloggers, who in turn were counter charged by a unit of my foot boyz (see; loads of frantic hand to hand. Pure Orky joy)

Over on my left my opponents burners and bikers moved up and started trying to extract come here little one...my Lootas from their ruins, with only limited success. Mostly the units just stared at each other and occasionally made nasty remarks… Not very orky but everyone was a bit concerned about breaking cover, because… The Stompa continued to shot and smash its way around the board much to everyone delight. The crowning moment came when my opponents Deff Dred made a break to the left (possibly trying to get to my Warboss, who can tell with dreds?) and the Stompa walked up behind it and grabbed it with the Klaw and squeezed. Seconds later the dred exploded and showered little bits of metal all over the place. One hit one kill D weapon, fun but deadly as hell…

The Stompa continued to rain down fire and death on the Goffs (until the Gattling cannon jammed, then things slowed down a bit…), eventually it became clear that there was no hope and, leaderless and with most of their vehicles just smoking ruins, the Goffs decided that now would be a good time to scarper, leaving the Battlefield and all that wonderful Loot in the hands of Bifgrabs Boyz!

It was all over. Bifgrab stood among the wreckage of the Battlewagon he had reduced to tiny pieces of scrap and looked around the battlefield as he got his breath back. The battle field was pretty much empty of enemy now, the Stompa having dished out some serious krumping action. He could see a few scorch marks across the belly of the gigantic metal beast which would need fixing, luckily there were more than a few enemy vehicles now lying around wrecked that he and his Meks could borrow spare parts from. There was also the matter of building another Battlewagon…again…

Wow… That was intense! What a great game. Lets face it Orks vs Orks was always going to be a brutal and bloody encounter. The Stompa was insanely good, so much so that I will not take it again unless I know I’m facing another superheavy. It was so good I think it could have won the game on its own, and it’s a testament to the good nature of my opponent that he didn’t get despondent and give up after turn one (I might have… He just grinned, scooped models of the table by the handful and charged what was left at my lines…). Despite the one sided feel to the scrap it was brilliant fun and with any luck they’ll be a rematch soon, either without the Stompa dominating or maybe my opponent will bring one and they can tear lumps of each other in the centre of the board whilst the battle rages around them…

Also, I’m still not convinced about the Battlewagon, twice I’ve used it and twice it’s been blown to little bits and my MegaNobz forced to slowly shamble towards the enemy….

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